Saturday, October 05, 2013

please do not disturb

I go through phases where I doubt myself and the path that I'm on. Do I really want this? Am I doing the right thing? How long will I do this for? What is in store for me? What other options do I have?

I've been really thinking about what I want for quite some time now (probably since I was about 18 years old, but who's counting). I've always struggled with wanting to hide from big gruelling tasks- I might be a slight snail-like creature- if I can see something coming towards me I don't like, I want to hide until its gone and somebody else has dealt with it for me. I've learned with lots of frustration that life doesn't work out that way, unfortunately.

I have always said/thought that at heart I'm lazy.... I want to take that back. I am not lazy. I am just indifferent about certain things that others are not. Take a career for instance. I don't mind if I don't have a crazy career, its equally important to me to spend my time cooking yummy things and sitting in the sun, exercising and watching movies. I'm not saying that I never want to work, I really do like what I'm doing! I'm just saying that I don't want to spend 40 hours a week doing it. I don't want to spend 40 hours a week doing any one thing actually. Maybe a lot of us want that life but only some of us will give up certain things to have that life (i.e. lots of money for lots of nice things). So in the end I think its about priorities, my priorities in life are that I enjoy myself no matter what I am doing. I think its also important for society to have the career driven people who say that work, power, accomplishment, money is their top priority, cause otherwise, the world would turn into a hippie commune, don't you think?
So over all I can be happy with the last 11 years of 'figuring out' what I want to do because I definitely have found what direction I want to go in... (it might change tomorrow, but nobody is sure of tomorrow anyways, right)

I'm almost done with school and I've heard that the home stretch is the hardest .. and yes. it is...
BUT... I will take a deep breath... And say: Brain, I will not decide 5 months before exams start, that I don't really want to do this anyways. Ha. Ha. You ain't getting this piece of me!

So, I am figuring out a way to stay focused during my last 6 months of school... For that, I need to have enough quiet to listen to my heart. If I can't hear my heart because I'm filling my mind with lots of noise, then I'll listen to whatever my mind says.
Mhm. No!
I will instead, fill my belly so my mind won't get any blood flow and I can listen to my heart.

What does your heart say?

Mine says:


1.5 Cups Almond Meal
2.5 TBSP melted coconut Oil
1/4 Cup Choc chips (or chocolate that you cut up)
2 TBSP maple syrup
1 tsp Vanilla extract (I used a vanilla bean)
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp baking powder

What to do:
Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Pre heat oven to 170 C/ 340F
On a lined baking sheet place 1TBSP of batter and lightly press in the center
Bake for 13-15 minutes or until golden

--- They will be super soft when you take them out but will harden the more they cool off (center stays nice and soft) pop back in oven for another 3-5 minutes for crunchy cookies.

Guten Appetit!!!

(thanks to thewholepantry app!)

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