Saturday, March 21, 2015

Lily Belle

Hey! Friend! Heeey!

I seriously dropped the ball for a few months! I had too much going on and too little focus to write anything that would've made sense to anyone (including me!)

So where do I start? Oh right, I HAVE A BABY! I can't believe it to be honest, she will be two months on the 24th and I still don't really believe she is mine!

In hindsight, being pregnant was a super strange experience, I liked it, don't get me wrong, but it is almost superpower-ish. I mean, growing another human in your belly! and then popping it out! and then feeding it with your body! It is really crazy. Awesome crazy. But crazy.... Crazy? I think crazy.
The emotions ran high from the moment I peed on that stick, expectations, thoughts, fears, hopes etc etc. Then, when the big due date came and went, it was more like 'WHAT. is. HAPPENING.' and then, when birth started to kick in it was like 'WHAT. is. HAPPENING'.  And then, when my babe popped out it was like 'WHAA...' and I fell crazy in love.

It's weird. It is almost like you belong to a tribe all of a sudden. You are now allowed to give tips to other parents without being that a-hole with no kids giving pointers on how to anything baby.
It's a ROLLER coaster of emotions and actions. The first four weeks were like a hurricane had swept me up and spat me out, leaving me not knowing where up and down is. Then I gradually found my brain again.

I read a quote somewhere that your baby is brought to you to teach you something. I believe it!
I've never been the one to plan too far in advance or need to stick to a plan rigidly but I do have expectations of a day. Already in the short amount of 8 weeks of her life I had to learn to throw that right out the window. One day is never the same as the other, she surely keeps me on my toes!

And the amount of advice and books there are out there! I read a few too many tips and 'ways' to parent. I was taking all that advice a little bit to seriously. After trying hard to figure out what I want to do I just realised I gotta go with my gut. There is no other way for me to parent. I can't read a book and then apply it to my child. My new tribe of moms have been a greater help than any book or website I have read so far. My kid and I, we'll work it out. After all, us humans have been around a long time.

Now, I live life day to day, soak in all the wonderful new faces and sounds this little creature makes and try to get as much sleep as I can!